Broken
by sktrgrl13
Summary: After a mission where Natsu sacrifices his wellbeing to save Gray's, the ice mage is thrown into turbulent emotions he may never escape from. Will Lucy and Erza be able to talk some sense into the depressed ice mage or will he be too broken for them to fix? yaoi don't like don't read!
1. Chapter 1 - To be Broken

**Disclaimer: Mashima owns Fairy Tail yo!**

**Warnings: Yaoi, Language, Violence**

All the lights were shut off and the curtains were drawn over the windows. Not a single ray of light penetrated the prison he hid himself in and for that he could be grateful. Now he was where he was supposed to be; now he can be held accountable for what happened. He has heard people pounding on his front door for the past couple days, but he hasn't moved from that spot. For the past three weeks, Gray Fullbuster has been sitting in the darkest corner of his house; his back pressed up against the wall and his legs pulled up to his chest. The only light in the room was the small red flare at the end of his cigarette and the only sound was that of his broken clock.

In a way, that broken clock comforted him; it made him feel like days were going by slowly instead of stealing all his time. The longer the days were, the shorter it seemed that _he_ had been asleep. He chewed on the end of his blunt cigarette before putting it out and pulling out a new one. As he struck the match, he couldn't help but admire the flame dancing across the tip; a flame so warm, powerful and indestructible, but at the same time so vulnerable; just like _him_. He always thought that the damn idiot could get through anything and beat anyone; of course his bad luck had to interfere.

The raven knew from the start that _he_ would get hurt; after all, everyone who was tied to Gray Fullbuster ended up dying or getting hurt in the end. But of course the stubborn dumbass thought that he would be different, that he would beat the odds; now look where that has gotten him! Gray pushed the palms of his hands onto his eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the onslaught of tears that threatened to overwhelm him. In no time, he felt the warm liquid falling down his cold cheeks in rivulets; showing no sign that they were going to stop anytime soon.

He felt so useless!

He should've done something; he should've protected _him_, not the other way around. He should've made the fucking airhead run away and leave him behind. But even as he thought this, some part of him knew that no matter what he said _he _wouldn't have left. No matter how many times he had insisted that he was damaged, _he_ would only respond with,

"_I've already figured that out."_

If that's true, why did _he_ continue to love him damnit! If _he_ knew that _he_ was destined to die simply by staying by his side, why did he do it?! Gray turned his body and slammed his fist into the wall, effectively breaking through the plaster. Blood flowed from the open cuts on his knuckles, but he did nothing to stop it. Instead, got to his feet and punched the wall again and again; the plaster crumbling to the ground like the pieces of his rapidly breaking heart. His chest heaved with each constricting breath, but he couldn't stop, no, he wouldn't stop. Everything ached and everything burned; he just wanted to end it all.

He lifted his torn and bloody hands to summon his eyes magic, when armoured fingers wrapped gently around his more than likely broken appendages. His pain filled gaze travelled from the armoured hand, up the armoured arms and across a pale face until he was staring into dark brown eyes. He could barely see them because they were shadowed by her flowing, red hair, but he knew they were there; he knew they were accusing him and blaming him for what he had done. Just like she had done in his dreams, just like everyone had done in his dreams; alive or dead. He wrenched his hands out of her grasp and stumbled back from her only to run into something else. He whipped around and came face to face with a blonde haired, brown eyed girl.

He jumped away from her and tripped over his own feet until his back slammed against the wall behind him. The chill, cracked, plaster pressed against his flushed back as he stared at them defensively. He crossed his arms over his chest in nonchalance, slowly rebuilding those walls that _he_ had spent so many years trying to break down.

"What are you doing here?" He growled as he avoided their gaze.

"What are we…" The blonde sputtered, "What the hell do you mean by that?!"

The raven rolled his eyes and glared at the celestial mage darkly,

"I mean what the FUCK are you doing in my house?!"

Lucy stared at him with her mouth hanging open. Her fists were clenched at her sides and tears started to spill over her cheeks. Gray once again lowered his gaze; he was never able to handle girls crying and that wasn't going to change now.

"Everyone is worried about you!" She screamed, "Is that such a bad thing?!"

"I'm fine…"

"I don't know where you've been Gray, but you're most definitely not fine." Erza whispered, "I know something's wrong with you because you and your house reek of smoke."

The raven flinched, but still didn't move off the wall or lift his head. He needed to keep his defenses up and if he so much as looked at them, he knew that they would be gone. He has to keep them away; he didn't want to lose them too… losing _him_ was hard enough as it is.

"It wasn't your fault."

He couldn't stop his head from snapping up, his eyes meeting the gaze of the requip mage quickly. He could see sympathy in her gaze, but he could also see pain; he had hurt them so much, why did they put themselves through this by looking for him. He wanted to believe those four words, but he knew that he couldn't…

"I wasn't strong enough…"

He heard Erza's metal footsteps as she walked towards him and stopped in front of him. He jumped as she placed her hand on his cheek and wiped away his falling tears with the pad of her thumb. He hadn't even known that he had started crying; they were getting way to close… no one saw him like this but _him_. He slapped Erza's hand away from him and moved away from her.

"Don't touch me!" He spat, "Just leave me alone!"

Erza growled in frustration before starting to approach him again,

"Stop with the bullshit Gray; we can see through you! We know you're hurting, so let us help you!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

"THEN TELL US!" Lucy shouted from somewhere behind him, "STOP ACTING LIKE A STUBBORN JACKASS AND TELL US WHAT'S WRONG! WE'RE YOUR NAKAMA DAMNIT! IF NATSU…"

_Natsu…_

Just the sound of his name was enough to send him into a tailspin. Just with his name Gray was able to see that damn dragon slayer's smiling face in his mind's eye and he could imagine the pinkette's loud and enthusiastic voice echoing through the walls of his house. Just by hearing his name, Gray felt as if everything would be alright again, but he knew better… he knew of his fate.

"WELL GUESS WHAT LUCY, NATSU'S NOT HERE!" He roared, "AND IT'S MY FAULT THAT HE'S NOT!"

"Gray…"

"IF I WASN'T SUCH A FUCKING WEAK PIECE OF SHIT HE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF FOR ME! HELL, IF I WAS SMART UR WOULD STILL BE ALIVE, BUT NO SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR ME TOO AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY PARENTS!"

He could feel the girls' eyes on him, but he didn't care, he was nowhere close to being done yet. He was tired of hurting others, he was tired of others dying for his sake. He was in so much pain, but there was no healing for him now; he was just too damaged to keep going anymore. He collapsed to his knees and clutched his head tightly as he banged his head on the floorboards in a deep bow.

"I'm…tired of having to dream about their deaths over and over. I'm tired of having to dream about everyone's accusing eyes and heartless words. I'm tired of living in a world where everyone I'm close to dies or disappears because of me. I just want the pain to stop…I just want it to stop."

_The only reason why I've held on this long is because of him…if he were to disappear too, I don't know what I'd do._

Gray could still feel them in his apartment, but everything was completely still. It was almost as if everyone had stopped breathing at that very moment. His body still shook with suppressed emotion and his words seemed to echo around them. He was about to look up at the, most likely disgusted, faces of his friends when he felt a very warm hand press down on his hair. The heat from the hand almost caused his heart to stop beating; the heat was so familiar and safe, but he didn't dare to raise his head.

"You ice bastard, if you're so tired, let other people carry the weight for you." A soothing voice chuckled, "And you call me an idiot."

The ice mage slowly lifted his head off the floor and his deep blue eyes instantly found that of dark green. Almost trance-like, he raised his hand and placed it on the tanned cheek before him; an astounding heat immediately engulfed his fingertips in a loving embrace. His tears renewed as he threw himself at his dragon slayer, clutching onto the back of his vest tightly; almost afraid that if he'd let go, Natsu would disappear.

Gray buried his face into the side of Natsu's neck so that his pulse could be felt against his cheek. His curse hadn't killed him; his dragon slayer was still alive. He shuddered as Natsu carded his hand through his raven hair and he could feel his eyes slowly starting to drift closed.

"We're going to talk after you get some sleep, is that clear ice block?"

The raven nodded absently as his thoughts started to drift,

"I'm still holding on, barely, but I'll keep holding on to you."

THE END

**Ah, nothing better than an angsty one shot to brighten one's night! I hope this wasn't completely horrible, but it was just something that was buzzing around my head. I'm all for making this into a two-shot if you guys want me to, so just let me know in your reviews :) And don't worry I'll update Escape and One Day, Everything Changed sometime soon! Waiting on you reviews!**

**-sktrgrl**

**PS. WTF with the last chapter of Fairy Tail…I get the feeling the manga is reaching an end :( and I still wanna know if Silver is connected to Gray in some way so Mashima better get on that shit or he'll be hearing from my lawyer! :P**

**PSS. This one-shot is loosely based on the song "Broken" by Lifehouse! Such an amazing song! :D**


	2. Chapter 2 - To be Unrecognizable

**Disclaimer: Mashima-sensei owns Fairy Tail… I would love love if he worked with Eichiro Oda to make a One Piece x Fairy Tail crossover… might actually make my life… OMG they should do it using "Stormbringer" by Icy Cake… Oooooo I like that plan!**

**Warnings: Yaoi, Language, Angst**

Erza stared down at her exhausted comrade sadly; his pain filled words echoing through her head like a beating drum. Never in her years of knowing the young raven had he ever sounded as defeated as he did at that moment. The red haired Queen of the Fairies clenched her fingers into a fist at her side and tried to burn hole into the carpet that was furnishing the floor. For him to visibly fall apart like that meant a lot; for a person who prided himself on his ability to hide his emotion to cry, a lot had to have happened. Hell, she knew that a lot happened; she was there after all.

She was there when Natsu sacrificed himself for him.

She was there when Gray drowned himself in guilt.

She was there when Gray disappeared from the guild.

And she was there when Gray had lost the strength to carry on.

She failed Natsu in any way she possibly could; she promised the pink haired dragon slayer that if anything happened to him, she would make sure that Gray wouldn't blame himself. As soon as they decided to go on that mission, Natsu made her promise; he knew that Gray wouldn't be able to separate their adversary from that of the demon that haunted his dark past. She slowly lifted her gaze just in time to see the figure of Natsu Dragneel flicker in and out of focus before turning into the form of Mirajane Strauss. Her pale lips were drawn into a tight line, the bottom lip slightly quivering, as she ran her delicate fingers through the slumbering teen's soft raven locks.

Erza glanced over at Lucy to see that silver tears were making their way down her cheeks and her brown eyes were painful to look at. The red head motioned for the blonde to come stand with her so that they could both have someone to lean on; after all, they both betrayed Gray and tricked him into believing that his lover was alright once more. That look of relief on his face when he saw 'Natsu' was enough to move them both to tears and irrevocably shatter their broken hearts into smaller pieces.

The fact was that no one knew if the dragon slayer was going to pull through or not. Even Wendy wasn't sure…she healed him as much as she possibly could, but he has yet to open his eyes. She didn't want to be there for Gray's reaction when he found out what they did; she couldn't bear to see those tears on his face again…she couldn't bear losing him either. It seemed as if that was going to happen no matter what they did. As far as she was concerned they had lost the ice mage and there was nothing anyone could do about it; well anyone besides Natsu.

"Erza…" Lucy choked, "Is he going to be okay?"

She was staring up at her with pleading eyes and the red head could feel Mira's eyes on her as well. For the first time in a long time she didn't have the answer; she had no idea what was going to happen next; there was no way of knowing. She shrugged her shoulders almost imperceptibly as she gazed at her slumbering comrade. A small whimper escaped the blonde's lips as she held onto the great Titania's arm for support. Erza rubbed small circles into her friend's forearm as a form of comfort; that was all she could do right now anyway. Her eyes never left the form of Gray as memories of their childhood seemed to envelope her vision. She could remember it like it happened only yesterday…

_Erza Scarlet had just joined Fairy Tail and she could already tell they were a bunch of weirdoes. How Grandpa Rob was in a guild like this was surprising, but not at the same time; she could actually almost imagine him being here with her. The small girl sat in the farthest corner of the guild; a table that she could have all to herself. She was just starting to enjoy her sandwich when an arrogant, somewhat whiny voice came from beside her…_

"_Hey, what's up?"_

_Erza fought the urge to roll her eyes and continued eating. She had a pretty good idea who it was, but it's not like that mattered. She didn't want to get close to anyone anyways; she just ends up getting them hurt in the end. Sure this kid was annoying, but his life was important too…she didn't want the boy to end up like __**him**__. She almost jumped when her table was knocked over by a rogue foot that came out of nowhere, but she was able to suppress it; talk about a temperamental kid…_

"_Is there a problem?" She asked stoically without meeting his eyes._

"_You know this is a wizard's guild right? That stupid armour won't protect you here." He stated, annoyance lacing his tone._

_Erza finally looked over at him and wasn't surprised in the least to see him standing in his underwear. That brown haired girl didn't call him streaker for nothing, that's for sure._

"_Maybe not, but at least I have the common decency to wear something, that's more than I can say for you perv."_

_The guild erupted into laughter around them causing a dark look to spread across the raven haired boy's face. His body was shaking with barely contained anger…but it's not like it scared her. She's seen much worse after all._

"_What did you call me?!"_

_She continued to stare at him blandly before inwardly sighing,_

"_If you're smart you'll leave me alone."_

But he didn't do that, in fact he did exactly the opposite. He continued to bug her and beg her to fight him even if it meant getting his ass kicked. At the time, she didn't see him as nothing more than a nuisance and only put up with him hoping one day that he would finally get the message and leave her alone. Of course that never happened, but it evolved into something much more meaningful all because of one accidental encounter…

_The sun was setting over the clear river; the yellow pink hues of the sky mixing cohesively with the water to make a perfect picture. However, a certain red headed girl could not see that beauty, all she could see was pain and the little ripples her tear drops made when they splashed into the water. She sniffled softly as she thought of the friends that she left behind; she didn't want to leave them, but she didn't have a choice either…_

"_ALRIGHT ERZA BRING IT ON! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOING DOWN THIS TIME!"_

_Beyond her better judgment, her head turned at the loud voice to see none other than Gray Fullbuster running down the hill towards her. She sighed sadly once when the young mage stopped in front of her. He had this look on his face, his deep blue eyes regarding her with such surprise and sadness, but she didn't want him to get involved… it would just hurt too much…_

"_It's you again…" She quickly wiped her hand over her eye to remove the tears, "What is it with you, haven't you learned your lesson?"_

_The boy just stared at her silently, the same bug-eyed expression on his face,_

"_Alright…give me your best shot."_

_For some reason a light blush spread across his cheeks and he stuttered slightly when he spoke,_

"_Oh…well uh…"_

"_What's the matter? You're not chickening out are ya?" She asked stoically._

_Gray stayed silent once more and stared down at his feet. She was about to turn away from the streaker when his voice, although much quieter, resounded around the area once more,_

"_Tell me something…how come you're alone all the time?"_

_It was her turn to be surprised now… this boy never ceased to amaze her, but that was of course her little secret…_

"_I just prefer to be alone," She whispered, "'Cause I get nervous around other people."_

"_Oh yeah?" The raven demanded, "Well, you're alone now, so why are you crying?"_

_Erza flinched and her head snapped up to look at the younger boy standing in front of her. She watched as he walked over to her so that he was now beside her only to he him sit on the dusty ground and rested his hands on his knees when his legs crossed. For the first time in a long time, a soft smile spread across her face,_

"_So you're not going to fight me today?"_

_The boy's blush deepened as he rejected the question loudly,_

"_I can't fight a girl when she's crying!"_

_As the two of them sat beside the river and watched the sunset disappear over the horizon, Erza knew without a doubt that she finally had someone she could count on._

Erza blinked the memory away along with the tears that were gathering in her eyes. That was the Gray that she wanted to see; the strong, proud, honourable Gray who did everything for his friends. She knew that he would need help to get better and that it would be a long recovery, but she also knew that Natsu and Gray were strong enough to get through it.

"Mira, are Gajeel and Levy still waiting outside?"

The silver haired takeover mage nodded her head softly before calling out to their friends standing outside the door. The raven haired dragon slayer looked down at the much smaller and sicker raven and his red eyes saddened. Erza knew that even though Gray, Natsu and Gajeel fought constantly they were as close as brothers; for Gajeel to see his 'little brother' like this had to hurt him as much as it hurt Erza herself. Without a word, Mira moved aside and helped Gajeel lift Gray onto his back so that the smaller raven wouldn't fall off. Erza nodded in approval before heading to the front door. Before leaving, she stopped and put her hand Levy's shoulder,

"Thanks for helping Mira with the runes needed to pull that off; it means a lot."

The small blue haired girl nodded sadly before walking over to Lucy and wrapping a comforting arm around her as they followed the armoured mage, dragon slayer and takeover mage out the door. Erza hoped that when Gray woke up that he wouldn't explode, as of right now, she knows that she had better keep on hoping.

FTFTFTFT

When the group entered the hospital room Natsu was staying in, they tried not to look at the bed right away. Erza walked over to the bed that was parallel to Natsu's and pulled back the thin covers so that Gajeel would be able to manoeuver the sleeping ice mage under the blankets. As soon as they stepped out of the way, Porlyusica entered the room mumbling under her breath. The group stayed silent as the woman attached Gray to different machines and IVs; it was hard to watch. When Porlyusica finished, she crossed her arms and glared down at the mages in the room.

"Who in their right mind thought it was smart to leave this dumbass by himself?"

Erza, along with everyone else looked at the floor and refused to meet her eyes. They could still hear her mumbling about how idiotic they all were, including Gray and Natsu, and was threatening to go back to her house that was hidden deep in the woods. Erza glanced up at the woman after a moment and clenched her fists once more before speaking quietly,

"Is he going to be alright?"

The strawberry blonde woman stopped ranting and stared at Erza as if she had grown an extra head. Her red eyes scrutinized the group once more before she sighed and grabbed the clipboard that had magically appeared at the end of Gray's bed.

"Well nothing that you guys don't already know," She rolled her eyes, "Malnourishment, dehydration, sleep-deprivation, and an insurmountable amount of toxins in his blood and lungs from smoking as frequently as he did on his empty stomach. After a little rest, the idiot should be fine."

Lucy cleared her throat from somewhere behind Erza,

"Ma'am, what about Natsu?"

The red head finally turned her head to look over at her other fallen comrade. He was still covered in bandages; nearly from head to toe. Luckily he could breathe on his own, but they did have to listen to that monotonous beeping of the device that Porlyusica created. Lounging lightly on Natsu's stomach was Happy; a deep sadness radiating off him that didn't match his name. Now, Erza knew, that Happy was also upset that Gray was in the hospital. Happy wasn't as close to Gray as he was to Natsu, but when the two boys got together Happy got the same protectiveness over the raven that Natsu had.

"That idiot is still stable; he should wake up any day now…" Porlyusica shrugged, "If not, well, we'll get to that if we have to."

For the guild's sake, their sake, Happy's sake and Gray's sake, she hoped for the dragon slayer to wake up. She didn't want to try and imagine a guild without Natsu in it or for that matter without Natsu AND Gray in it. After what the raven said today it was obvious what would happen if Natsu never woke up again…

"Ms. Scarlet," Porlyusica smirked, "I think it's time you called in reinforcements."

The red head gazed at the old woman curiously before the light bulb went off in her head,

"Okay team," Erza turned to the comrades standing beside her, "I think it's time we dropped by Lamia Scale for visit…who's in?"

TBC

**Okay, I turned my maybe two-shot into a definite three-shot lol. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter… once again it was a little plot bunny jumping around my head. I just had no ideas for my other stories atm so I just thought 'what the hell!' Anyways, I'm waiting on your spectacular reviews :) and don't worry I will update Escape and One Day, Everything Changed sometime soon it's just that I have a very busy week because of a bunch of assignments and midterms! **

**-sktrgrl**

**PS. Erza's memories are from Fairy Tail ep. 37 except her POV instead of handsome Gray's ;) and yes I used the DUB version so if you like SUB I apologize, I just own the DUB on my IPod so it was more convenient to get the dialogue…**

**PSS. IN TWO TO THREE DAYS ONE PIECE: STRONG WORLD ENG DUB WILL BE IN MY HANDS! OMFG! XD**

**PSSS. My roommate's cat is actually snoring…is that normal?!**


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